"Phat" or "Fat"...neither is a compliment

Story

Brian seemed like a nice guy, he was charming, handsome, and had a very nice physique. What more could a girl ask for right? He and Erica had been dating for a couple of months and all he could talk about was how he was dating "a goddess," an "angel," "the most beautiful girl he had ever seen." Words every girl wants to hear, and she really did feel beautiful around him...until the night he uttered one little word...

Time: 9:00 pm, Place: A patch of grass at a park

The night was warm, a perfect setting for a walk in the park under the stars. Erica had made an extra effort to get dolled up for her new man. He thought she was beautiful, which made her want to try even harder. Playful banter started, which resulted in a game of boy chase girl (with the girl usually making sure boy catches her) Brian catches Erica and sweeps her up in his arms. Now Erica was about 5'6" and weighed about one hundred and thirteen pounds, she considered herself thin and had been told by much less physically impressive men that she was "as light as a feather." It was therefore a shock and embarrassment to her when Brian dropped her, threw himself on the ground and exclaimed loud enough for any other couple who might be walking in the park to hear-"DANG GIRL, you are HEAVY!" The night went completely still, as though even the trees were holding their breath for her response. Maybe she was too big? Did she feel the ground shake just a little bit when he dropped her? In her embarrassment her mind flashed back to an earlier stage of their courtship...

Flash Back
Time: first three weeks of their itemhood Place: Brian's car

Brian was describing his sisters and these were his words: "well, they are BIG women, really tall and REALLY REALLY big boned." Erica did not find the description at all flattering and told Brian that no woman, no matter her size EVER wanted to be described with words like big, heavy, fat, chunky, or even big boned.

Returning to the park

Erica quickly collected herself, smiled and said, "Brian, do you remember me telling you that girls really don't like to be called that too much-even in jest?" He laughed and laughed and insisted that she really was, " you are just big-boned is all..." He even went so far as to tell her that he thought women who worked out too much started to get too muscled and that he thought women body builders were disgusting (this is after she started an aerobics class).

It took Erica three weeks to convince Brian that nick names like fatty, big-bones, and body builder were not her cup of fat free, no sugar tea. Even though he laughed it off and said she couldn't take a joke, he really meant she was "PHAT."

Analysis

Seriously...SERIOUSLY!!! I think I have the backing of every women in the world on this one-Erica should have dumped him after the first "FAT" shot out of his lips and into night sky. No matter what a woman looks like, she deserves to feel like a Super model in the eyes of the man she is with. Even more so, because in all probability he chose to ask her out and he CHOSE to date her. If he didn't liked the way she looked, he should have gone elsewhere.

Brian had the right idea at the beginning, "goddess," and "beautiful" are acceptable terms for a man to use in wooing a lady. "Big-boned- body- builder" on the other hand? I.D.O.T.I.C. Maybe Brian was just kidding, maybe it all was just his way of being funny- hahahahaha NO. The words "Fat" and "it was just a joke" do not coincide in the same part of the brain for a women, especially when the two words are put together and directed at her. I think it may be something like calling a man "cute" or "precious" (both of which I have unknowingly used and found they were not appreciated) but like 50 times worse. Brian could have fixed the mistake after Erica kindly asked him not to call her that again, but instead decided to repeatedly call her F** (I can't even write it anymore) daily for three weeks-and ended up being an example of what a woman SHOULDN'T date in my blog.

Men: take a hint
Women: If a man ever calls you fat, go listen to "Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars and eat a candy bar for good measure :)